Learn your spouse's sexual triggers.

We often joke about his-and-hers sexual triggers. Usually we say that men have one sexual trigger: everything. Women are a bit more complex. But seriously, because men are more visually stimulated, a man can become aroused by seeing his wife naked, undressing, or wearing something provocative. Typically, women are not that way. So a husband needs to discover what his wife's sexual triggers are.

A wife may be a "touch me" girl: she likes hugs and caresses. She may be a "tell me" girl: she likes affirmation and verbal foreplay. She may be a "listen to me and share with me" girl: she opens up after connecting with her husband through conversation. She may be a "doing" girl: she appreciates it when he picks up messes and helps with housework. She may be a "spiritual food" girl: she becomes open to sex after connecting with him through prayer, reading Scripture, and discussing spiritual matters.

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practical reasons for waiting for sex

There are practical reasons for waiting.

• Premarital sex can detract from a strong relationship and a fulfilling love life. Too often, it's merely a self-gratifying experience. After intercourse, one partner might be saying, "I love you" while the other is thinking, "I love it."
  
  
• Premarital sex often lacks total, permanent commitment. This can create insecurity. For instance, while the couple is unmarried, the nagging thought can persist, "If she/he's slept with me, who else have they slept with?" After they marry, one might think, "If they were willing to break a standard with me before we married, will they with another after we marry?" Doubt can chip away at their relationship.
  
  
• Premarital sex can also inhibit communication. Each might wonder, "How do I compare with my lover's other partners? Does she/he tell them how I perform in bed?" Each may become less open; communication can deteriorate and so can the relationship.
  
  
• Premarital sex can lessen people's chances to experience maximum oneness and pleasure. "I really like what you said about waiting," said a recently married young woman after a lecture at Sydney University in Australia. "My fiancé and I had to make the decision, and we decided to wait." (Each had been sexually active in other previous relationships.) "With all the other tensions, decisions and stress of engagement, sex would have been just another worry. Waiting till our marriage before we had sex was the best decision we ever made."

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How to Have a Most Fulfilling Love Life

One way not to have a fulfilling love life is to concentrate solely on sexual technique. There is certainly nothing wrong with learning sexual technique -- especially the basics -- but technique by itself is not the answer.

The qualities that contribute to a successful sex life are the same ones that contribute to a successful interpersonal relationship. Qualities like love, commitment and communication.

Consider love. As popular speaker and author Josh McDowell points out, those romantic words, "I love you," can be interpreted several different ways. One meaning is "I love you if -- if you go out with me...if you are lighthearted...if you sleep with me." Another meaning is "I love you because -- because you are attractive...strong…....ntelligent." Both types of love must be earned.

The best kind of love is unconditional. It says, "I love you, period. I love you even if someone better looking comes along, even if you change, even if you have zoo breath in the morning. I place your needs above my own."

One young engaged couple had popularity, intelligence, good looks and athletic success that seemed to portend a bright future. Then the young woman suffered a skiing accident that left her paralyzed for life. Her fiancé deserted her.

Portrayed in the popular film, The Other Side of the Mountain, this true story was certainly complex. But was his love for her "love, period"? Or was it love "if" or love "because"? Unconditional love (or "less-conditional" because none of us is perfect) is an essential building block for a lasting relationship.

Unconditional love with caring and acceptance can help a sexual relationship in a marriage. Sex, viewed in this manner, becomes not a self-centered performance but a significant expression of mutual love.

Commitment is also important for a strong relationship and fulfilling sex. Without mutual commitment, neither partner will be able to have the maximum confidence that the relationship is secure.

Good communication is essential. If a problem arises, couples need to talk it out and forgive rather than stew in their juices. As one sociology professor expressed it, "Sexual foreplay involves the 'round-the-clock relationship."

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LAUGHING SEXUAL SNEEZE

It can be as simple as sneezing at an unexpected moment that's funny and sexy.

Involuntary contractions can be extremely arousing.

Or the dog walks in and starts licking the bottom of your feet when you're in bed.

Timing and unexpectedness are at the heart of most laughter.

A medical doctor was making love passionately in a canoe that capsized right at the moment of orgasm.

The experience was not only profoundly funny - he's been into cold water for potency ever since.

You know how kids love to jump on beds like trampolines because its fun - and grownups are always telling them not to?

One couple was making love when they heard their three year old on the other side of the locked door saying, "Mommy, Daddy...... No jumping on the bed!" making them burst into laughter.

Remembering it as "The best sex we ever had" they remind each other of the incident for years ever since to keep them laughing about it when they're loving!

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DIRTY TALK GOOD SEX

Another interesting little idea is for one partner to control the foreplay verbally. One partner is the talker, one is the doer. Say you (the woman) are the talker. You sit down and start describing what you want him to do. Start with clothes on. At first tell him to do various non-sex things like walk around the room, move objects about, turn on music etc. Be as descriptive as possible. Then call him over to you and ask him to attend to your needs, massage you, kiss various parts of your body etc etc. Build up gradually to taking off one item of clothing at a time - slowly. You can keep this talk going right up through normal foreplay and into sex if you both agree to it.
Then next time you can reverse it. Say you (the man) are the talker and she is the doer. You sit down and direct her every move. Ask her to stand up, turn around, put her hands on her hips, rotate her hips slowly, then turn back to face you, crouch on the ground etc etc. Ask her to assume various poses you like, then call her over to dance in front of you - but no touching at first. Describe in detail what you want her to do. Again build slowly up to foreplay touching and keep the commands coming, right through into sex if you want.
Remember that women are more verbal than men so when it comes to sex or foreplay, talking can be an important part of the experience, and can result in more sex pleasure for both of you. Women also love to read about erotic encounters, and sex fantasies so you can read erotica together to give you ideas and discuss the things you like.

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TREAT YOUR T - GIRL LIKE GENETIC WOMEN

T-girls should be happy with their men. Treat your T-girl like a lady to win her over and keep her happy. Here is a regular guy's guide to having a happy T-girl. For "bottom-line" guys, the point is: Treat T-girls like genetic women. What appeals to GG's will also appeal to T-girls.

Let's summarize what you already know. Women like to be treated in special ways. They want to be loved. They are sentimental. They have a "shopping gene" and every now and then they are going to drag you off to Nordstrom's and expect you to handle the anxiety while they shop. They are warm, loving creatures.Believe me.........

Let's summarize some more things we already know. Women are more emotional than you are. They can be complete bitches and extremely difficult to be around. Sometimes you wish you could slap 'em around to bring them to their senses.

But you don't want to do that. And women don't want to be complete bitches any more than you want to be around complete bitches. But if you don't get a grip on some of the basics of male-female relationships, you are likely to have a complete T-girl bitch on your hands at some point.

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ENJOY WITH FAT LADY ON YOUR BED

Ive always had a problem with my weight and body image..im 30 and weigh 85kg...Its so damn hard to get over what you look like in the mirror always thinking do they see what you see,,,and the answer is no, good guys dont. IVe been with my wonderful partner for nearly two years and we love each other, he is a big guy and has no problems undressing or being naked..me on the other hand hate having the lights on during sex and hide with a towel when he comes into the bathroom! But even though i think he will look at all my lumps and bumps and girl i mean BUMPS , he doesnt...he sees me for me but unfortunatley my brain says otherwise,,,I think i will continue to feel like that for a long time, but one thing he always says to make me feel better is more cushion for the pushin lol....I guess in time there will be a defining moment in your and my life where we just dont care and realise that there is more to life then how we look....Its hard though when we have all these skinny magazine cover girls looking at us from a magazine stand! So hey as long as we have a guy that love us the rest will fall into line with time!!!

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