There are practical reasons for waiting.
- Premarital sex can detract from a strong relationship and a fulfilling love life. Too often, it's merely a self-gratifying experience. After intercourse, one partner might be saying, "I love you" while the other is thinking, "I love it."
- Premarital sex often lacks total, permanent commitment. This can create insecurity. For instance, while the couple is unmarried, the nagging thought can persist, "If she/he's slept with me, who else have they slept with?" After they marry, one might think, "If they were willing to break a standard with me before we married, will they with another after we marry?" Doubt can chip away at their relationship.
- Premarital sex can also inhibit communication. Each might wonder, "How do I compare with my lover's other partners? Does she/he tell them how I perform in bed?" Each may become less open; communication can deteriorate and so can the relationship.
- Premarital sex can lessen people's chances to experience maximum oneness and pleasure. "I really like what you said about waiting," said a recently married young woman after a lecture at Sydney University in Australia. "My fiancé and I had to make the decision, and we decided to wait." (Each had been sexually active in other previous relationships.) "With all the other tensions, decisions and stress of engagement, sex would have been just another worry. Waiting till our marriage before we had sex was the best decision we ever made."
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