Interesting indeed that Madonna should choose to place her Purple Penetrator marital aide in a clear plastic bag. A private consultation with our dear friend Ann Summers reveals more about the Purple Penetrator (ask for it by name). Ms. Summers advises that the phallus has an “adjustable waist and back strap to fit all sizes.” Features include a “vibrating bullet,” “multi-speed battery box” and “clip.” (If only our forces in Iraq were so well-equipped.) This is “MADGE’S TOY JOY.” And it is one she seems keen for each of us to experience. And not least of all husband Guy Ritchie, whose 39th birthday she has been celebrating in Claridge’s hotel. A “hotel guest” tells Anorak: “Maybe she just wanted to ram home the point that she is the boss in their relationship.” Batteries not included.
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